Always
by Legend's 23
Summary: Jax Teller was her air. McKenna Ryan always new the consequences that came with loving Jackson Teller and tragedies that always ultimately followed. They had an everlasting bond that was shared between them that needed no boundries. When your soul has found it's mate, what else is there? Jax and McKenna once again, find themselves on the opposite side of their happy ending.


Able came down the slide and started running towards her. "Daddy!" He ran right passed her into his father's arms.

* * *

The decision to leave Jax had been a devastating one. When you're hopelessly in love with your significant other, you'll find every reason to stay, no matter the circumstances may be. For the past six years, McKenna loved Jax more than life itself. He was her goddamn everything. She thought back to that faithful afternoon. The day that she was going to leave, again.

They had been caught in an everlasting storm over these past three months. That cloud that hung over them, loomed day in and day out, with no clearing in sight. McKenna had accepted the man, she had accepted the danger of the man's lifestyle. She embraced it. Jax was her adrenaline. The ride she was on with Jax was so high, she had hoped she'd never come back down to earth. At times, she had wondered if it was even real. But after they had welcomed their first child, McKenna began to feel less passionate about that lifestyle pull. She didn't want or need that particular high anymore.

* * *

The first time she had left, one of SAMCRO's enemies had made their way into their home. She was attacked, while her kids were screaming in the background. She managed to get a hold of one of the guns in the house and shot him in the shoulder, in front of the kids. He ran out of the house, only to be captured later by Jax and the rest SAMCRO. The guy turned out to be one of Galen's men. He had sent him to kill Jax for an arms deal gone wrong but he wasn't home, so McKenna had to do instead. Of course, later that night, Jax reiterated how much he loved his family and how he would always keep them safe.

The second time she had left, Jax rode home drunk on his bike. He and McKenna had a huge fight about something unknown to both of them today. After their argument, she had ask him to leave. He had left and rode to Teller-Morrow Garage. The next morning, McKenna headed to the garage, hoping the night apart was enough to talk to each other and end this barrage of situations that had been plaguing their once amazingly happy marriage. She opened the door to his dorm and found him sound asleep with a crow-eater firmly in place on top of him. There was a time when she would have rushed them, beating the crow-eater senseless, then going after Jax. That time had long pass. She was no longer going to fight for the man that was suppose to be hers, she should never have to. Of course, later that night, Jax reiterated how much he loved his family and how he would never cheat on her again.

Three weeks ago, She had to spent a couple of nights in Los Angeles. Her brother, Laroy, was on trail and she was his attorney. It had taken the jury a extra day to find him not guilty. She had been driving back late when she received a phone call that the Teller-Morrow clubhouse exploded only seconds after Jax managed to get Abel out. Both of her kids were spending the night there, after McKenna specifically told Jax, she did not want them sleeping at the clubhouse. He had lied and told her they would be staying by Gemma, not that she wanted them spending the night there either but at least it wasn't Teller-Morrow, so to speak. Gemma had always taken Jax's side, regardless of the situation. That eventually broke the bond that she and McKenna had once shared. Of course, Jax apologized once again, stating that he love his family and he would always protect them.

Last week, Jax came home earlier than expected. He saw the bags sitting at the front door. He'd received the divorce papers at the clubhouse, a day earlier than they were to be delivered. She was going to shot the server if she ever found him. McKenna was sitting on the couch holding their young son Abel, placing his arm in his jacket sleeve, while their five year old daughter, Emerald, was retrieving her backpack from her room. Jax marched into the living room armed for another confrontation. He threw the torn document onto the table in front of her. McKenna was all set and waiting to hear his _'I love my family. I will always protect them speech'._

* * *

"You're not taking my family anywhere McKenna." Jax matter of factly stated. He stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed, observing his wife and son. He was so use to having shit blow over and everything going back to normal, the divorce papers was a total sideswipe. He knew he was to blame for most of the shit, but this was his family and divorce was not an option. He had to talk to her. He had to break down his current situation.

McKenna ignored Jax and his statement altogether. Rising from the sofa with Abel, she called for Emerald and told her it was time for them leave. Once again, Jax repeated his statement, which was once again ignored by McKenna. He moved closer, closing the gap between them. Looking at his family, he couldn't let this happen. "McKenna, stay. I'll leave." But they had tried that before, twice. She would leave and head to her mother in Los Angeles. A few days would pass and she would always managed to find her way back to him. Not this time, fuck love. This time she was over it.

As she moved to walk past him, he took a hold of her upper arm. She pulled away from him, while trying to balance Abel in her arms. "Fine, you wanna leave, leave. But you're not taken Emerald and Abel. Fuck that shit. I'm tired of you always thinking you can take them away from me whenever you get pissed." The dimensions of his tone vibrated the walls. He moved to take Abel out of her arms but she maneuvered around him. Abel starting crying. She was at this familiar place once again and wondered, when did this melancholy start to wage war on their once great love affair.

"Get the fuck away from me, Jax. We're not doing this anymore. Look at you son. Look at Abel. Just stop." McKenna voice was trembling. She too starting yelling. "I've helped you create this mess that we've become Jackson, and it's just time for us to let each other go, permanently." Permanent was something that they had never tried before. She had believed that the two times prior when she had left, they would be permanent but yet and still, here she stood. Maybe the third time would be the great magic spell.

Jax grabbed a hold of her again, pulling her forward. McKenna struggled to break his grasp. She lost her grip on Abel and he fell to his mother's feet. She pushed him off of her and lowered herself to her son. With all of the drama engaging, neither one of them had noticed Emerald standing less than three feet away in sobbing in tears.

"Stop it." She managed, through her whimpering. She walked over to her mother and wrapped her arms around her neck. She, Abel and McKenna all sat on the floor in tears, while Jax stood over them defeated. Emerald directed her eyes at her father with her wounded expression. "I want you to leave." Jax mouthed the word _I'm sorry_ before he left, noticeable vanquished.

McKenna waited about thirty minutes after Jax had left the she took their kids and ran. She didn't just leave and go to her mother's house, this time, she left without a trace. She had checked into a Motel 6 just outside of the Los Angeles area. She sat in bed trying to sort through the the past six years of her life. She loved that man so much and there wasn't anything earthly possible to ever make that love stop. From the first night when they had met she new she would be his ride or die chick. She wasn't sure of the exact date, to which that no longer applied, maybe it still did. Maybe it was when he became president of SAMCRO. It was almost as if he had morphed into someone different, _something_ different.

She had gotten so use to letting Jax have his way but it was always within reason, something Jax no longer seemed to care about. As her kids lay asleep beside her, McKenna tried to formulate her next move. Without her mother's haven as the usually backup plan, she really had no where else to go.

* * *

**Saturday Afternoon**

McKenna awoke early to take the Emerald and Abel to a nearby playground for some fresh air. Living in a motel for the past four days, was less than the ideal situation for everyone. She sat on the park bench watching Emerald and Abel playing with the other children. She hated that Emerald was old enough to understand their current situation. She wanted to go home to her own house. Abel was only two, so thankfully, he was still naïve to his current surroundings. For a moment, she had lost herself in reminiscing about all of their milestone moments, she hadn't even noticed the sound of the motorcycles approaching the park.

Abel came down the slide and started running towards her. "Daddy!" He ran right past her, into his father's arms.

Her heart stopped and her veins turned artic. Jax had found them. Hesitantly, McKenna turned around to face her husband, glancing back, to place Emerald within her sight. The Sons of Anarchy had the park surrounded. He walked up to her and put Abel down. "Go play with uncle Chibs buddy. I need to talk with Mommy for a moment." Chibs smiled at Abel, then raced him to the swings.

Looking at her, McKenna didn't even try to read him. All she saw was anger and sadness, plain as day on his face. "Sit down." He commanded her, his voice low and direct.

Without hesitation, she lowered herself onto the bench. She was visibly shaken. He had caught her. Of course he did. She honestly didn't know what he was going to do. The tears fell freely from her face. Jax sat opposite her on the other side of the table. He nodded, taking her hand, into his he held it tightly. Within the exact instant, his entire demeanor changed. He was collected. His eyed still held the sadness, but it was distinct. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

"It's okay babe. I'm not mad. I love you, McKenna and I understand why you ran. I was just hoping that you would have given me a little more time, but I understand babe and I love you. Stop running McKenna and go home." A single tear fell from his face.

There it was, her familiar place with him, where she'd realized that she would take him back with the never ending cycle of drama that followed. Jax would apologize. He would remind her of their unique love that they would always share. She would hold him, wishing she could freeze their moment in a time capsule. Then she would go back to him and he would make her feel that extraordinary love all over again. But something with this scenario was different, it changed and she felt it on the inside.

"I had Lowen obtain another copy of the divorce papers. I've signed them babe. I'm not going to contest it."

This felt so wrong. McKenna never expected Jax to actually grant her a divorce to end their union. Why was he doing this? to prove a point. This was so unlike Jax. She opened her mouth to speak.

Jax continued. "When you get home, in the back of our bedroom closet, on the top shelf, you'll find a black box. It has enough money in there for you and the kids for the next ten years. It's all yours McKenna."

Something was wrong. Something was so very wrong. He was saying goodbye, not like goodbye, I'll see you later, but goodbye, forever. McKenna pulled her hands away from him and stood up, rounding the table to him. He stood up to face her. "You're leaving me Jax?" She hadn't even recognized the irony of her question.

A loving smile defined his face. "I'm following your lead babe." She unsuccessfully tried to return his smile but weakened further in front of him. He took her in his arms and held her for the brief eternal period that had now belonged to them alone. Then, like a lightning bolt it hit her and she suddenly understood. Jax would never divorced her, not in a million years. This was Jackson Teller. He would not go through the trouble of tracking her down to leave her. He would track her down to bring her home, with him. She then realized that they would never get to go back to their place again.

"No! Jackson." McKenna began to cry harder.

"The Sons aren't here for you babe. They're here for me, to escort me back to Charming."

She suddenly understood all of his aggression, it was never meant to be directed towards her. It just shifted off it's course. Whatever club shit he had gotten into with SAMCRO had resulting with him having to meet with Mr. Mayhem.

"Hi Daddy." Emerald walked up to her father and held her hands up to him. Jax had never held his daughter tighter.

"Daddy, I'm not mad at you anymore, okay. Can we come home?"

Jax started to tear up again. "I know baby. Yes, mommy is going to take you and Abel home today. Emerald, I need you to know that I was never upset with you, for anything, ever. I love you, little girl. You here me?" She nodded and hugged her father again.

He sat back down on the bench. "Sweetheart, daddy has to go away for a while and I'm going to need you to look after your ma and Abel for me. Can you do that for me Em?"

"I can do that daddy. When are you coming back?" McKenna looked away, whipping the fresh tears that fell repeatedly from her face.

"I don't know sweetheart. But I need you to understand that everyday that I'm away from you, I'll love you a little bit more, okay." She nodded and rested her head on her father's chest. She felt that something was out of place but she didn't know how to convey it.

"Jackie, it's time to go." Chibs brought Abel back from the swings.

"I'm going to say goodbye to your little brother, okay." He told Abel how much he loved him and to look after the girls for him. Abel nodded and said okay.

He walked over to McKenna. Stroking her face, he kissed her for the last time. "I love you, babe."

"I've always loved you Jackson. That's something that will always be embedded in me. You know that right. I love you baby."

"I know baby." Kissing her forehead he released her.

He turned around and headed to his bike. The rest of the Sons of Anarchy started revving up their bikes.

McKenna felt as if she was going to faint. Her legs gave way. She missed the bench by an inch and landed on the soft grass beneath her feet. Emerald and Abel, climbed onto her and held her. Jax turned and looked at his family one last time. He passed his hands over tears streaming down his face.

X

Jackson gave McKenna a knowing nod. She sat on the ground numb, unwilling to accept the his faith. The knowing look that they had shared for those remaining seconds before he rode off on his bike forever, was the look that she would keep locked away inside of her everlasting.

* * *

_**I know a smile, a girl, that shares my name.**_

_**Now I'm through with the game.**_

_**This boy will never be the same**__**.**_

_**Now I see a family where there once was none**_

_**Now we've just begun,**_

_**Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun**_


End file.
